The past year: Coffin, Paths, Child, Bear, Fish
How we see or remember things isn’t always very objective. (An understatement or what ;) For example, I consider the year just past to have been one of the worse in my life so far, but looking at this spread I realise things aren’t quite as dramatic. I don’t want to invite fate to send me worse, mind you, it’s just that I didn’t particularly enjoy most of it. Nevertheless, as these things usually go hand in hand, I did learn a lot and I did grow a lot.
The Coffin, Paths and Child read like a linear progression. First, I think the Coffin refers to my illness, which I’m still recovering from and which forced me to make an abrupt, painful and unexpected change of direction (Paths), professionally and otherwise. Like the Tarot Death card though, every ending brings a beginning. Here, the Child. New things, new hopes, fresh outlook. I still have no clue where this new path leads and where I want to go. My thoughts are still largely unformed and immature (Child again).
Like I said, the crux of the whole thing is career related, hence the Bear and the Fish, the Bear I think here stands for the confidence/definition of self/psychological and social aspects of the job, while the Fish refers to the more practical/financial side of things. An interesting play of combinations: Paired with the coffin, these two say that my old source of income/job satisfaction is dead, no more will be coming from there. Paired with the Child, they say something new will take its place. Neat, huh?
The Paths speak of something that was and still is on my mind a lot. The Big Questions. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? Who do I want to be? Not only job-wise, but in general. I’m still standing at the crossroads, looking this way and that, a bit daunted by all the choices, but excited too. This makes me feel alive and free again (Child).
There’s more to be seen here though. Child+Bear reflect the renewal I have experienced this year in my relationship with my partner, to an extent I almost didn’t dare hope was possible. So: don’t be afraid to aim high with you dreams…
I’ve read somewhere that the Bear is a card of luck and indeed I have been very lucky and shouldn’t forget that. Also, more specifically I have been lucky with money (Fish) and I am grateful for that too.
The Fish, other than money, can refer to temptations, overindulgence and addictions and unfortunately this year had a lot of that too. I’m not a crack addict or anything like that, but addiction can take many forms. Overindulgence as well. It includes all these ‘one more piece of chocolate’ moments, ‘one more hour of watching videos’ moments and so on. Indeed, there was a lot of that. Overall though, it didn’t make me happier. Quite the opposite.
It’s interesting how the Child sits in the centre of the spread. I think the Child here is me. One thing I learned this year is that I lack maturity in some vital ways. I learned it the hard way, but perhaps that’s the only way for lessons like that. I worry that even though I see these shortcomings in myself, I still haven’t moved past them. On the other hand, I also learned not to be too hard on myself and that there is always hope. Wonderful unexpected things are always around the corner. And to be fair, the past year I had a fair portion of those served to me as well!
Deck: Astrologisches Lenormand by Hildegard Leiding